garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize