Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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