adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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