I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
