how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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