it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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