Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The air was thick with penises
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
