Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
