Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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