The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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