hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
