Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize