yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Is it because I queefed?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
