I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
why didn't you poke me back
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
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Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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