Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
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