So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
