so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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