It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
