I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
