I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
