My hair reeks of homosexuality.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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