im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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