She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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