Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
