In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
