Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.

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  (248): i fuckib htae you, you church bitch. http://tfl.nu/lauo
  Replies (4) Good night (977) Bad night (1012)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  making cat noises will not fix the situation.

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  (602): making cat noises will not fix the situation. http://tfl.nu/m8sq
  Replies (6) Good night (3295) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?

  (1-920): View more from Wisconsin

  no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  he wasn't. neither were you.

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  (920): dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss? (1-920): no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom? (920): he wasn't. neither were you. http://tfl.nu/3ltg
  Replies (16) Good night (7084) Bad night (1199)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes

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  (514): you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes http://tfl.nu/cth1
  Replies (21) Good night (7751) Bad night (1307)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.

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  (919): Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music. http://tfl.nu/oyb0
  Replies (24) Good night (7888) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system

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  (484): she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system http://tfl.nu/uwvr
  Replies (12) Good night (2753) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.

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  (507): currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing. http://tfl.nu/nh19
  Replies (9) Good night (1853) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.

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  (914): We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not. http://tfl.nu/467u
  Replies (15) Good night (659) Bad night (1528)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.

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  (513): I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote. (513): I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now. http://tfl.nu/2ikr
  Replies (17) Good night (748) Bad night (1633)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.

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  (623): I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about. http://tfl.nu/u0ol
  Replies (1) Good night (873) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.

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  (847): I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year. http://tfl.nu/4k22
  Replies (2) Good night (894) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago

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  (303): He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago http://tfl.nu/p1nu
  Replies (12) Good night (726) Bad night (1416)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.

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  (713): Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon. http://tfl.nu/r8yq
  Replies (4) Good night (1328) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help

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  (219): Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help http://tfl.nu/bokj
  Replies (5) Good night (382) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.

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  (210): Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning. http://tfl.nu/jk8r
  Replies (1) Good night (483) Bad night (303)

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