Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Betty ford says i'm here all night

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(256): View more from Alabama

As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.

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(847): View more from Illinois

just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(801): View more from Utah

I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...

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(970): View more from Colorado

I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.

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(303): View more from Colorado

She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.

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