the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
