She's never allowed to turn 21 again
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
they're like a gay fantastic four
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me