Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  we're not divorced.

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  (214): your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything. (1-214): we're not divorced. http://tfl.nu/1yaa
  Replies (12) Good night (885) Bad night (3185)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  so i told him i still liked him. he laughed

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  well, your crazy. what did you expect?

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  (954): so i told him i still liked him. he laughed (1-954): well, your crazy. what did you expect? http://tfl.nu/3mre
  Replies (52) Good night (711) Bad night (3542)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.

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  (250): i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting. http://tfl.nu/gwdw
  Replies (16) Good night (3402) Bad night (799)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours

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  (484): we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours http://tfl.nu/cvkh
  Replies (23) Good night (6819) Bad night (936)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel

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  (484): Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel http://tfl.nu/fa0o
  Replies (6) Good night (3761) Bad night (622)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.

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  (606): I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel. http://tfl.nu/sip1
  Replies (41) Good night (3971) Bad night (1206)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...

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  (216): you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito... http://tfl.nu/yq5b
  Replies (9) Good night (4373) Bad night (856)
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  (408): View more from California

  I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me

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  (408): I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me http://tfl.nu/9m9d
  Replies (1) Good night (1582) Bad night (728)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.

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  (479): Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle. http://tfl.nu/ldbf
  Replies (11) Good night (2154) Bad night (1040)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?

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  (816): We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right? http://tfl.nu/k62y
  Replies (3) Good night (1774) Bad night (576)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.

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  (979): I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels. http://tfl.nu/it3k
  Replies (2) Good night (679) Bad night (404)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.

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  (214): This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family. http://tfl.nu/r35r
  Replies (4) Good night (311) Bad night (845)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  i will live by this rule

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  (616): life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee (1-616): i will live by this rule http://tfl.nu/j6ih
  Replies (6) Good night (767) Bad night (304)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.

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  (732): I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened. http://tfl.nu/b4bs
  Replies (2) Good night (377) Bad night (261)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry

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  (503): I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry http://tfl.nu/xdrm
  Replies (2) Good night (292) Bad night (522)

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