Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?

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  (815): the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest? http://tfl.nu/605y
  Replies (2) Good night (684) Bad night (1231)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.

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  (972): Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife. http://tfl.nu/0n10
  Replies (7) Good night (4754) Bad night (1262)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course

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  (720): At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course http://tfl.nu/67cn
  Replies (25) Good night (5239) Bad night (1171)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad

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  (314): Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad http://tfl.nu/ilsx
  Replies (19) Good night (1282) Bad night (2897)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.

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  (613): Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs. http://tfl.nu/sez7
  Replies (9) Good night (1213) Bad night (3187)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.

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  (816): We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri. http://tfl.nu/7urx
  Replies (5) Good night (1000) Bad night (417)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.

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  (814): For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives. http://tfl.nu/zjhm
  Replies (1) Good night (1356) Bad night (362)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU

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  (860): I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU http://tfl.nu/1s1y
  Replies (3) Good night (909) Bad night (460)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.

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  (716): Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now. http://tfl.nu/i6pt
  Replies (2) Good night (773) Bad night (303)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.

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  (314): Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame. http://tfl.nu/omwv
  Replies (2) Good night (755) Bad night (332)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.

  (941): View more from Florida

  Oh at the liquor store again?

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  (954): I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board. (941): Oh at the liquor store again? http://tfl.nu/01vl
  Replies (0) Good night (695) Bad night (350)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.

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  (773): I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out. http://tfl.nu/obyo
  Replies (4) Good night (305) Bad night (456)
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  (953): View more from

  Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed

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  (953): Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed http://tfl.nu/b1fd
  Replies (0) Good night (651) Bad night (207)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.

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  (360): Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies. http://tfl.nu/t27r
  Replies (2) Good night (526) Bad night (395)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick

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  (856): his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick http://tfl.nu/ccta
  Replies (6) Good night (991) Bad night (140)

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