Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.

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(586): View more from Michigan

at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....

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(209): View more from California

she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook

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(901): View more from Tennessee

She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(314): View more from Missouri

My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building

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(831): View more from California

She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"

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(678): View more from Georgia

No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.

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