eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
