Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
