she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
