Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I believe in your delicious
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
