i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
