you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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