Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
