love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
