Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
MIDGETS
????
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
