Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
