he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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