I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
