Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
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I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
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Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration