Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
