I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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