I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
