before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
