This girl is more easily done than said...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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