My nipple is on Facebook.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize