oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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