We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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