It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
