laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
