one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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