ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
