I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Text me some of your sweat
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Shame - the story of my life.
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