Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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