I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she told me i tasted like america
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
