I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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