Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
