Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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