Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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